on Facebook and fake lives

Comparison is the thief of joy.
-Theodore Roosevelt

I can be having a perfectly good day, and then I get on Facebook. Suddenly my life is not good enough, because some girl I forgot from undergrad is posting photos of herself sipping a beachside margarita. Heck, my life isn’t even as good as my life. Facebook Me is painting the town and reading thoughtful articles. Real Life Me is typically trapped in a black hole of BuzzFeed “related links.”

I tried to use my knuckles and Google Image to make it look like I went on vacation…. It did not work.

The marg-sipping photographer must care enough about her image that she ignored the spectacular view and sat on her phone, filtering and posting a photo of it, instead of living it. Most of us have done that at some point. And for what? Validation, of course. Continue reading

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on submitting to a man

“Submission” in marriage evokes imagery of cigar-smoking good ol’ boys and timid housewives. I believe the Bible is inerrant, but also that our Lord cherishes women. How do you reconcile the two?

by submitting to the Lord first.

It is in the heart of Woman (and Man) to fear present and future circumstances. She may react to the anxiety by domineering or she may react by fleeing. One woman aspires to control her circumstances; the other woman languishes in her lack of control. Different reactions—both cowardly. Neither is a fearless relinquishment of the situation to the Lord.

Submission is not a matter of passivity at all.

A woman of God, on the other hand, meets challenges with strength and humility. There is beauty in her submission. She submits to God’s plan for her, even when it seems crazy (and it usually does). “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future” (Proverbs 31:25).

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on Ferguson and forgiveness

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is much bigger than Ferguson, Missouri. No system of injustice can change without individuals changing first. Too many heels are dug into the ground, and they cannot soften without love. Logic is a weak weapon in debates that are ultimately matters of the heart.

We must forgive.

Continue reading

four things that won’t impress me about that single guy you know

Or: “Four ways I click-baited you into reading this blog post.”

As a 26-year-old Christian single in the South, I am a constant target for amateur Cupids (in other words, I have loving friends who worry about me). Allow me to debunk some of the more common “selling points.”

1. “He’s nice.”

Firstly, calling a man “nice” means only that you have observed him abiding by social norms. It can be a deceptive character trait.

Bill is a nice guy who just needs your help moving furniture into his van.

Secondly, being “nice” won’t help when the baby is screaming or the cable guy did not show up between 6am today and 6pm the next year like he said he would. Great men are not “nice.” Continue reading